The new religion and carbon-neutral sex View Comments

All religions have a foundation myth.

The foundation myth of the religion of Environmentalism is man-made global warming.

Its Old Testament consists of the books of Karl Marx and the lesser prophets who came after him: eg Lenin, Trotsky, Gramsci, Mao, Marcuse … Its New Testament consists of the Gospel according to Michael Mann and Al Gore, and the E-pistles  of the Climatic Research Unit Apostles.

This is part of an article on the (priestly and inquisitorial) powers of the Environmental Protection Agency, by Jonah Goldberg:

Tim Wirth, a former Senator and now chairman of the United Nations Foundation, once said: “We’ve got to ride the global-warming issue. Even if the theory of global warming is wrong, we will be doing the right thing, in terms of economic policy and environmental policy.” New York Times columnist and prominent warm-monger Thomas Friedman has repeatedly said (most recently this week) that he doesn’t care if global warming is a “hoax” because even if it is, the fear of it will force us to do what we need to do.

And it just so happens that … global warming fuels nearly every progressive ambition. Wealth transfers from rich to poor nations: Check. The rise of “global governance” and the decline of American sovereignty: Check. A secular fatwa not only to erode capitalism but to intrude on every aspect of our lives (Greenpeace offers a guide to carbon-neutral sex): Check. Weaning us off of oil (which, don’t let the Goregonauts fool you, was a priority back when we were still worried about global cooling): Check. The checks go on for as far as the eye can see, and we will be writing them for years to come.

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  • Pray, tell, how can sex ever be carbon neutral? All the extra breathing and heavy perspiration - that's got to be bad for the environment. You'd have to stop showering after sex. No condoms either - a lot of condoms these days are polyurethane. Even the rubber ones take a lot to make, and the condom industry is absolutely huge. On top of all that, discarded condoms do not break down easily, so the environment is harmed in that way.

    And you can't use lube - most of that is derived from oil or contains synthetic, carbon rich materials.

    Worst of all, you might have kids, then you've really screwed up.

    The only answer is chemical castration or clitorectamies for all those who are concerned about global warming. It's the only way.
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